Beautiful Idiots
by sunbune
Summary: An old gypsy woman finds a remarkable treasure in the middle of a desert, and two lone wolves must set aside their similarities and learn to cooperate in order to escape. Another look at what happens when D meets Alucard.
1. Unnecessary Aggression

Author's Note: Hi everybody! I read _VHD: Mysterious Journey to the North Sea_ parts 1 and 2 about a month ago and I've been in the mood for vampire stories ever since. Particularly, I found myself craving some more VHD crossovers featuring Alucard from Castlevania. (By the way, I heard they're making a Castlevania movie next year! I wonder if it'll have Alucard? I hope so!) Anyway, I reread all my favorite stories in that category, found a new one that looks promising, and then decided that I might as well go ahead and write my own. I know, I know, it's already been done. But I love it so much, I just want to do it again! First of all, though, let me give credit where credit is due. As far as I'm concerned, there are three writers out there who OWN the world of D-meets-Alucard, and they are: Unseen Watcher, for the story, _Something in Common_, Emiri-chan, who wrote _Strengths and Weaknesses_, and of course Kitt Yuehana, whose unrivaled VHD fanfiction includes _Insult of the Right Hand. _If you like to see D and Alucard in the same world, you absolutely MUST READ those three stories!

* * *

Beautiful Idiots

Chapter 1: Unnecessary Aggression

Alone in the cold light of an ancient moon, a cyborg horse carried a solitary black-clad rider across an empty expanse. The scene was quite surreal, for at first glance it appeared that the horse walked across a frozen sea—but actually, it walked across a desert, where the ground was nothing but one smooth, silver mirror.

The rider was none other than the legendary Vampire Hunter D, and if there was ever anyone who could look at home in such a surreal setting, it was he.

The hunter's left palm tingled as it rearranged itself into a grotesque little face, and the mouth of the face stretched wide in a yawn.

"You're up early," commented a gruff, raspy voice.

"I remembered that it's going to take several hours to cross the Glass," D replied in explanation.

Two beady little black eyes blinked in surprise. "Is that where we are? The Nobles' Looking Glass? Let me see."

Obligingly, the hunter held his hand out to the side, so that the face in his palm could see the ground. The gruff voice chuckled. "Well now. Isn't that a pretty sight. Your reflection's solid as stone. Not even a drip of moonlight's getting through. Incredible!"

Normally, of course, the hunter's reflection was moderately translucent, while a true Noble would have no reflection at all. But here, thousands of years ago, the Nobles created a substance that allowed them to see their own faces. Originally it was the size of a small pool, but due to the hardiness of the living lens crystals that it was made of, over the centuries it had grown far past its boundaries until now it filled a valley a hundred miles wide and two hundred miles long.

"I guess it makes sense that you're getting an early start," Lefty remarked. "Your horse can't move any faster than a walk on such a slick surface, and you certainly wouldn't want to be out here while the sun's at full strength. With this super-powered mirror underneath you, you'd fry to a crisp in no time."

It was said that every Noble made a journey to the Looking Glass at least once, and that sometimes, they would become so entranced by their own reflections that they would forget to escape the deadly rising of the sun.

Suddenly the hunter's eyes focused on a tiny black speck on the horizon.

"Is someone actually out there?" Lefty asked in disbelief. D didn't answer. A few moments passed, and it became obvious that the black speck was in fact a traveler on foot—a traveler who was heading straight for them. "Whoa," Lefty muttered, sounding duly impressed.

"What is it?" D asked softly.

"Vampire," came the answer. D's eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly. "And, wow. You're not gonna believe this, D."

"What do you mean?"

"I think… he might be _older_ than you."

"There aren't many like that left in the world," D remarked.

"…And I suppose there's about to be one less," Lefty added, though there was a sense of misgiving in his tone.

The cyborg horse continued forward at a steady pace. Nothing about the silent rider changed to indicate that he was now approaching a being that he intended to kill. Lefty, however, grew more apprehensive with each passing step. When the distance between the two figures was just a little more than a mile, he finally spoke up. "D, I gotta tell you. This guy is kind of freaking me out."

"He's strong," D acknowledged. They were close enough now for the hunter to sense the other's presence for himself.

"It's not just that," said Lefty, fidgeting. "I don't know what's going on here, but something about that guy's aura seems _really_ familiar."

"In what way?" D asked impassively.

"Well, for starters, he might not be a vampire after all," Lefty said, sounding uncomfortable.

D's voice was as cool and even as always. "His presence is too strong for a dhampir."

"So is _yours_, buster. That's what I'm getting at."

The traveler finally stopped when D was just five hundred yards away. He stood inhumanly still with his heavy black cloak billowing out behind him in the wind. D could sense his hesitation, which was quickly replaced by resolve. The traveler began moving forward again, and stopped once more when about fifty yards remained between him and the hunter. As if agreeing that that was an acceptable distance, D reined in his horse.

Recognition flickered in the traveler's colorless eyes at the sight of the black-clad rider's face, quickly followed by distrust.

For a long moment, they studied one another. Besides the almost compulsory black cloak, the stranger wore a gold-embroidered coat and was armed with a single visible weapon—a sword. His face was predictably pale, and his gaze possessed an uncanny steadiness more commonly seen in the eyes of a predator such as a hawk or a lion… or a wolf. Perhaps the most striking feature of his appearance was his white-gold hair, which fell in loose waves around his shoulders. Overall, the effect was impressive; the moonlit night now had two masters. It wasn't often that D felt unnerved, but something about this character was definitely unsettling. And certain physical similarities between the two of them were almost too obvious to comment on.

Almost.

"Will you take a look at this guy?" Lefty whispered in excitement. "I can't believe it! He's actually _prettier_ than you! Just by a little bit though. I mean, it'd certainly be a close contest. Wow."

Wordlessly, D dismounted. The horse shook its mane and walked off fifteen yards or so. It would sniff at the ground for grass, and, finding none, it would wait quietly for its owner to return to it.

Slowly, patiently, D reached over his shoulder, where the stark black silhouette of a sword hilt awaited his grasp. Interpreting this motion correctly, the pale-eyed stranger flung aside the folds of his cloak and reached for the scabbard at his side. Two notes of singing metal resonated across the empty terrain as they drew their blades at the very same instant.

"Wow-- that is an_ old_ sword," Lefty whispered, with no small measure of respect in his voice.

"Who are you?" D asked the stranger in a clear but quiet voice.

"Someone who doesn't belong here," replied the traveler, his voice equally clear.

"If you've come to accept that, then you should let me send you onward, into oblivion," D advised, with no hint of animosity in his tone.

The wind lifted a stray lock of silvery silk from the stranger's face. "I'm afraid I'll have to decline," he said, half-closing his eyes.

"D, wait a minute!" Lefty urged. "I don't think you should fight this guy!"

But the warning came too late; the hunter's mind was made up. Whoever the mysterious traveler was, the blood of a _very_ old vampire ran thick in his veins. It had been an extremely long time since D had smelled Noble blood of such undeniable purity, and he found it disturbing. In truth, D had assumed that worst of his vampire hunting days were long over, and that only the weaker, scattered remnants of the blood-sucking species remained to be cleaned up. But if _this_ ethereal aristocrat had somehow survived all these years unaccounted for, how many more might be lurking out there?

Swords spun, flashing like lightning. Killing strikes missed their targets. Suddenly the traveler resorted to magic-- but his destructive attack vanished in a swirl of sparks, having had no effect other than causing the pendant on the hunter's chest to glow with a bright blue light.

Startled by this astonishing complication, the traveler barely managed to evade D's next attack, and the result was that a thin, dark line appeared across his cheek. The traveler kept his gaze riveted to his opponent as he leapt backwards.

"That does it!" Lefty declared. "Fight's over. Can't you smell that? He is_ definitely_ not a vampire. He's a dhampir just like you!"

"There aren't any dhampirs _just like me_," D muttered, twisting his grip on his weapon until he heard a muffled 'wmmph!' of surrender.

A single drop of blood slid from the cut on the stranger's cheek, while his lucent eyes locked onto D's left hand. "Whose voice was that?" he asked, though he obviously already suspected its origin.

"Forget about it," D replied coolly. "It won't matter when you're dead."

The traveler looked back up at D's face. "Why do you want to kill me?"

"Because your time is over." The hunter's answer was soft, almost soothing. He took a step forward. His opponent held his ground.

"Explain," the traveler demanded, holding his sword so that it cut the hunter diagonally from shoulder to hip in his field of vision.

Suddenly D swept forward, reengaging his target. His blade was nothing more than a streak of blue-white light as it slashed at the strange aristocrat. The fight was back on. When dark blurs of motion resettled into discernable shapes several minutes later, it became clear that D's attacks had failed. The tip of his blade had burned its way into the mirrored desert floor, while the edge of his opponent's sword was pressed lightly to the side of his neck.

"Now, answer me." The traveler's voice was calm, and he moved his sword a few inches away as a sign of good faith. "What is this place? What gives you the right to decide if _my time_ is over?"

D was silent.

For an instant the traveler's eyes flashed with golden light. "_Answer me!_"

"Sheesh, calm down!" a gruff and exasperated voice piped up, diverting the traveler's focus for a fraction of a second-- and that was all the time D needed to free his weapon from the mirrored ground and launch another assault.

Having learned his lesson from the first time he'd been caught off guard, the traveler successfully avoided injury, and attempted to reclaim the advantage. But D had already learned a few things as well, and was able to parry every move. For a long, uninterrupted stretch of minutes, the duel raged as a fierce contest of swordplay and sheer inhuman athleticism, punctuated by irregular fragments from a peculiar three-way conversation:

"Hey blondie! What's your name?"

"Stay out of this." The hunter tightened his grip.

"But _mmf!_ Ow! Damn it, D, you're not gonna bully me this time." Another clash of blades brought the combatants in close.

"That voice from your hand just called you 'D'. Is that your name?"

"It is." D leaned in, lowering one shoulder. Rather than resist, the other dhampir stepped to the side, nearly causing D to lose his balance.

"Mine is Alucard."

"What! You actually exist? I thought y- _ouch_! _Mmnbb_! That hurts, you bastard!"

In the midst of another series of near-miss exchanges of parries and ripostes, Alucard grit his teeth and glared at D in righteous anger. "Why won't you let him speak?"

"He has nothing of value to say," D replied, his voice completely cold and emotionless despite the incredible speed and violence of his actions.

Alucard countered one attack, dodged the next, struck out with his own, and found himself trapped in close quarters again. Knowing intuitively that the side-stepping trick wouldn't work twice, Alucard abruptly shifted to a one-handed grip on his weapon, and backhanded the hunter across the face.

D dropped down on one knee, stunned. As an attack, the smack had been a pitiful blow—but as an old-fashioned reproof, it was right on the mark.

"You're a fool," the other dhampir informed him, stirred to uncharacteristically harsh words. "And your arrogance betrays you."

The hunter's white face remained expressionless beneath the brim of his hat. "Your death is inevitable," he said, his voice even quieter than usual. "There's no escape."

Alucard narrowed his eyes and stepped back, prepared to let D resume the fight. A second later, the kneeling form of the hunter vanished, having moved too quickly to see, and reappeared to Alucard's left, where the scream of metal on metal confirmed that once again the edges of their blades were failing to cut through one another.

At almost the same moment, they both came to the grim realization that fighting each other was going to be a very tedious ordeal. And with the stoicism of individuals long accustomed to accepting miserable, difficult, and potentially lethal situations, that realization did nothing to discourage either of them. Determination and patience were qualities that neither of them lacked.

...to be continued!...

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Another A/N: yay! That was so much fun to write. And there are three chapters to go! I chewed on my lip for a long time wondering if having Lefty call Alucard "blondie" would be copying someone else's idea. In the end I kept it, simply because Lefty WOULD call him that. There's almost nothing else Lefty _could_ call him, right off the bat. It was simply too appropriate for the moment to discard it. Anyhow, I promise that I've got a few scenes coming up that nobody has thought of before-- we just have to tread through this somewhat familiar ground to get there. 


	2. Inevitable Equilibrium

Chapter 2: Inevitable Equilibrium

From Alucard's perspective, the situation was fairly simple. He'd woken up for no immediately obvious reason and found himself in a world that he didn't recognize, with nothing but a sword available for his use. For several days he'd traveled in search of any sign of civilization and had found nothing beyond some rotted ruins and an assortment of vicious monstrous creatures.

When he had first glimpsed D riding towards him, Alucard had been relieved—a man on horseback was a welcome sight. But a few minutes later, relief had turned to doubt as he realized that it was not a normal horse, and that the rider, by all indications, was a vampire. And a few minutes after that, doubt turned to distaste as a closer look at D's features revealed that he wasn't your average human who'd had the misfortune of being turned. On the vampiric family tree, it was safe to say that he wasn't a leaf at the fringe, discarded and regenerated with the changing seasons—he was a little closer to the trunk. His castle was probably somewhere in the vicinity, and perhaps he was riding out to intercept Alucard for trespassing-- although why the vampire would come himself instead of sending a servant, Alucard couldn't fathom.

By the time D had gotten off his horse, Alucard had been expecting a fight. When the strange voice identified them both as half-breeds, Alucard's hopes for a peaceable outcome had risen slightly, only to be dashed moments later when D made his intentions clear.

And so now Alucard was fighting for his life, learning from his would-be executioner's every move and testing the limits of his own abilities. It was a little frustrating knowing that in his own world, he'd be able to use a dozen different tricks to defeat an opponent like D, while in this world what little magic he could manage was immediately counteracted by the round blue gem on D's chest, and changing shape was out of the question. The rules were askew—he even had a completely solid reflection in the mirror under his feet.

The hunter D, meanwhile, was fighting for somewhat darker reasons. This strange dhampir calling himself 'Alucard' was one of two things: a relic, somehow preserved from ancient times, or a more recent creation. In either case, he was now loose in the world, and there was the terrible possibility that there might be more like him. D had nothing against the existence of other dhampirs in the world, as long as they remembered their place and didn't make a habit of eating people. But _this_ dhampir was different, and whether he was well-behaved around humans or not, D was determined to kill him. There was something about him that required immediate destruction, something that made him the second-most dangerous opponent D had ever faced: Lefty had been right about him. He was _just like_ D.

Alucard had asked D what gave him the right to decide that his 'time' was over. The answer, of course, was that D was the son of the Vampire King, and the fate of his father's people had been in his hands for millennia already. Whether the Nobles would thrive or be eradicated was his decision to make, and he had made it long ago. Alone in his quest, he imposed his judgment on one vampire at a time, usually according to which ones were causing the most trouble for humans. He'd never failed to kill his target, for the simple reason that the power he'd inherited made him stronger than every vampire except the one he'd inherited it from.

But now, with each passing moment, D became more convinced that drop for drop, Alucard's blood contained as much raw power as his own. And that was why the strange dhampir had to die—in the business of being on a level _above _the Nobility, D could stand no rival.

At one point in the ongoing fight, D happened to glance down at his reflection, and that was when he realized why the very name _'Alucard'_ bothered him so much. _Backwards_… like in a mirror… suddenly D considered another possibility. Perhaps Alucard wasn't even real—maybe he was only a doppelganger, conjured up as some kind of psychological puzzle for D to solve. If that was the case, D had fallen right into the trap, and surely a dark shadow somewhere was having a good laugh at his expense. D's eyes narrowed, his conviction redoubled. He _would_ win.

* * *

Sunrise, at last—the light cutting sharp as a knife across the mirror of the desert floor. The heat followed, rolling in from the horizon in an invisible wave. Blood that been spilt in the night withered away, drying to blackened dust. Before long, they were both quietly panting for breath.

And as the light and the heat intensified, so did the ranting of D's hand.

"…and you're both going to _cook_ out here!" Lefty screamed. "Two strips of bacon wrapped in black cloaks, that's what you'll be. Now will you _please_ call a truce so we can get out of here _alive??_"

They ignored him. Soon, they were both squinting as the light burned their bloodshot eyes. Even D's broad-brimmed hat was of little use, when the ground all around him was reflecting the sun at him from every angle.

"D. D, you gotta listen to me," Lefty begged. "Ok ok, how about this: you don't want to call a truce. Fine. But I think it's obvious by now that you're the better swordsman, so, let's just call this one a victory and get the hell out of here."

The hunter didn't even bother to answer. His next attack was foiled and he ended up falling to his side, but was instantly back on his feet.

"_Think_ about it!" Lefty pleaded. "Call the horse and let's get you under some shade, man! It's miles and miles—this guy's on foot; he'll never make it! We'll just leave him here and the sun'll kill him for you, you _know_ it will!"

"He…he's right," Alucard realized suddenly. "I don't see a way out of this." He swayed a little, feeling dizzy from the heat, and shook his head in defeat. "Even if I win, I doubt that I could persuade your… 'horse' to carry me to shelter in time."

D staggered, barely able to stand. "Oh, wonderful," Lefty said. "He finally decides to surrender, and you're going to pass out. Perfect."

D fell to his knees and struggled to look up at his adversary.

"Yup, you've done it now, buddy," Lefty was saying. "Normally at this point I'd be hollering at you to get yourself underground, but, hah! Good luck digging through ten feet of solid _glass_. Congratulations, you've finally killed us. I hope you're proud of yourself."

"_Keh_," Alucard coughed, and put his hand to his throat. He felt like he was suffocating. He couldn't _breathe_, couldn't _move_. The bright, empty world around him shimmered and swirled as his vision began to fail.

The hunter made one last effort to get to his feet, and collapsed. His body shuddered once, twice, and lay still. "D?" Lefty asked, alarmed. "D!"

Vaguely, Alucard wondered if that meant he had won. And then he too reached his limit and toppled over onto the mirrored ground.

"Damn it, you too?" Lefty cursed. "Crap! You were our last chance out of here!"

Alucard closed his eyes. "_I'm sorry_," he whispered.

"Don't be sorry, don't be sorry!" Lefty exclaimed, panic creeping into his tone. "C'mon, c'mon kid! Get up—we'll get that horse, somehow, we'll get—"

"It's over," Alucard said. It was as if he could feel his blood evaporating in his veins. He was too exhausted to feel pain anymore, and instead, he felt calm. Soon, he knew, he'd shrivel into dust and be whisked away by the wind. It was almost a comforting thought, now that it was inevitable.

Lefty had fallen silent. "I've been with him," he said abruptly, his voice rough, "for so long now. Through a million adventures. To think that this was our last…"

Alucard forced his eyes open, regarded the fallen heap of black fabric that was the vampire hunter D. "It was an honor," he rasped, not sure if he was talking to D or just to the strange voice. "It was…a good fight."

"Yeah," Lefty agreed, sniffling. "It was." Then his voice regained its strength. "It was a _hell_ of a good fight. Loved it when you just slapped him. God, he deserved it. Can't tell you how often I've wanted to do that myself. Come to mention it, now that he's out cold, or rather, out _hot_, considering the circumstances…_hempf!_"

As Alucard watched, D's left hand flopped over and then raised itself into the air. The fingers straightened themselves out, and in one swift motion, the hand came down across the hunter's ashen cheek. _Slap!_ "That's for killing yourself!" Lefty declared, as the hand lifted itself again. _Slap!_ "And _that's_ for killing the other guy!" For a third time, the hand rose into the air, poised to strike. "And _this_--" the hand trembled, and then fell to the ground in front of D's face. The fingers curled weakly. "—is for not listening to me. Because goddamn you, I _told_ you this would happen. And did you pay attention? No! Every word I said went right in one of your pointed ears and out the other!"

Suddenly the desert was despairingly quiet. D's heart wasn't beating anymore, and, Lefty realized with renewed distress, neither was Alucard's.

"Damn," Lefty muttered, and then took a deep breath.

And in one long uninterrupted spiel, he cursed D and dhampirs in general from hell to high water. "…and now once again, it's up to _me_ to save you!" he concluded, having finally run out of cusswords and derogatory terms. "…only this time, I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I'm completely starving, I've got no energy stored up. Probably won't do me any good _praying_ for a miraculous solar eclipse or something. But, if there _is_ still a God in heaven--"

Lefty shut up, for at that exact moment, a shadow fell across D's left hand. Looking up in shock, Lefty was greeted by a concerned nicker.

"Horse!" Lefty sputtered. "You clever little—how'd you sneak up on me like that?"

The horse snuffled in reply, and stepped over D to stick its nose in the other dhampir's sunburned face. It paused there for a moment, smelling, evaluating, and then it nuzzled Alucard's hand.

"Good horse, good horse!" Lefty encouraged it. The horse's shadow was partially draped over both of the collapsed bodies. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. "Stay where you are now… don't move, ok?"

But the horse picked its head up, its eyes locking onto something in the distance. It whinnied, ears pricked forward.

"What? What is it? What's out there? _Nngh!_" Lefty strained to raise himself as high as he could, pulling D's arm straight up into the air. Scouring the horizon, staring, smelling, listening as hard as he could, Lefty finally zeroed in on what had gotten the horse's attention. "A wagon! I don't believe it. We're saved!" He turned back and forth a little, looking down at the unconscious, graying faces of both D and Alucard. "Just hang in there a little longer, guys," he muttered.

And when the wagon drew closer, he began to call for help.

* * *

Sure enough, the wagon stopped. And an ancient, hunchbacked woman climbed out of it, and hobbled across the glass to see what she had found. She was dressed in what looked like multi-colored rags sewn together, and her head was covered by a voluminous hood—beneath which her bright eyes shone like little lights.

"Howdy," Lefty said, as she peered down at him. He gave her his best, friendliest smile. "What brings _you _out into this desolate place?"

"Business," the old woman answered, in an age-graveled voice. The sagging wrinkles of her face couldn't hide the amusement in her smile. "What's yer name, hand?"

"Ladies first," Lefty said.

"Ain't got a name," the woman said. It sounded more like a realization than a statement, and Lefty suddenly felt like he'd been x-rayed. The woman gave D's shoulder a little kick, and changed the subject. "Got a couple dhampirs here," she said, her tone brisk despite its raggedness.

Before Lefty could answer, the old woman squatted down beside Alucard, took his chin in her hand, turned it slightly this way and that. Ran her thumb over his eyelashes. "Not bad looking," she deemed, standing up again. "Killed each other?"

"Sun got 'em," Lefty answered.

"Shame," replied the woman.

"Actually, since they haven't turned to dust yet, I'm hoping I can bring them back to life," Lefty confessed. He pointed at D. "This one's got some money. If you could—hey!"

Suddenly the old woman's eyes caught a flash of sapphire, and she pounced on D like a starving jackal on a carcass. She rolled him onto his back, and her hands clutched at the blue gem on the pendant around his neck. "How long has he had _this?_" she demanded, bringing the gem within inches of her gleaming eyes.

"What, that?" Lefty moved D's hand into an 'I dunno' gesture that might've accompanied a shrug. "Probably forever. Look, if you wouldn't mind—_hey!_"

Without further ado, the woman produced a dagger from somewhere in her ragged patchwork of clothing, and cut the pendant free. "Whoa! Lady!" Lefty sputtered. "Look, look-- I know what you're thinking. Clean out their pockets and leave 'em to rot, right? But you aren't seeing the big picture! Don't you realize what you've got here? This is an _opportunity!_ These guys aren't your run-of-the-mill half-breeds. You save their lives now, and I swear you won't regret it."

The old woman seemed to be ignoring him, and was indeed going through the rest of D's pockets. Once she'd gotten every last penny, she moved on to Alucard. Lefty was about to lose hope when suddenly, the old woman picked up Alucard's sword, and dropped it again as if it were a deadly viper. She put her hands on her hips and stood utterly still, staring down at Alucard's pale, perfect face. Then she muttered something to herself that Lefty didn't quite catch, and she turned to look at D again. Crouching down, she used her thumb and forefinger to peel open one of D's lifeless eyes. "Blue," she said, and pulled out the pendant she'd taken from him. She stared at it for a long, silent moment.

And then she grinned, and focused her keen, shining eyes on Lefty's worried face. "Sell 'em to me."

Lefty blinked. "Uh, excuse me?"

"These two mutts. The pair of 'em. Sell 'em to me, and I'll let you bring 'em back to life like you want."

"We'll need shelter from the sun," Lefty said carefully. The woman nodded. "And transport to the other side of the Glass." She nodded again, and Lefty bit his bottom lip. "And, as soon as possible, I'll need earth and water."

"'course you will," the old woman said. "Got it in the wagon. Crate o' one and barrel o' th'other. You can help yerself. We got a deal?" She smiled, and very deliberately stretched out her left hand.

With two rapidly dying dhampirs to worry about, Lefty didn't see how he had much of a choice. He guided D's hand to hers, and shook it.

...to be continued!...

* * *

Author's note: Oh my gosh I am so excited! During my long absence from ff.n, some of my favorite VHD authors have posted new chapters! I can't wait to read them! But first things first: let me get this chapter posted. I know it's been a long time coming. Believe it or not, this whole story has been written for months... on paper. I am the slowest person in the world when it comes to getting things from the page to the screen. But I do like this story, and I WILL finish posting it!


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